technicalities

     As is the case with a lot of people in art school I would imagine, I went from being "the kid who draws" in high school to a college where EVERYONE draws. In this kind of environment, I'm starting to realize that technical prowess only gets you so far; at the end of the day, there will ALWAYS be plenty of people who can blow you clean out of the water in your rendering, your draughtsmanship, you name it, there's someone who can clean your clock in it. I'm starting to think that what I should get out of this school is not so much "LOOK AT THIS BUTT I'VE DRAWN HOW IT SHINES SO REALISTICALLY" but better knowledge of when to flex the technical side of the artistic muscle. The artists I've always found the most interesting are the ones who can be economical or outright stealthy with their mastery; somehow Picasso has convinced a LOT of people (who clearly DON'T KNOW ART AT ALL) in today's world that he didn't actually know how to paint, he just drew blokes that looked like deformed flounders. Completely ignoring context and just how revolutionary he truly was.

look around Picasso. does anyone look like this? NO. YOU SUCK AS AN ARTIST. HOW DID YOU GET FAMOUS MAN WAS IT YOUR MARKETING DEPARTMENT?

     It's why photorealism is about as interesting to me as watching slow-motion golf; all you've proven to me is that you can spend a buttload (thanks Matt for the new word) of time precisely recreating a photographer's vision, which takes about the level of creativity found in your average jellyfish.

not pictured: an artist

    I guess the reason I'm spewing all this is because I'm starting to think of these things as they relate to my comic (which I've been delaying for far too long due to thoughts like these); there's been an inherent disconnect between my looking to show off my learned technical prowess (however minimal it may be), and the goofy story I wish to communicate. All that ends up happening is I have a vaguely anime/comics-esque style trying to mate with a story which screams "cartoon." It falls under the general question "I could... but why would I want to?" Yes, I could render all my characters with an extremely academic attention to detail, but unless my story demands that kind of gravity and realism (which, believe you me, it doesn't), it's being incongruous with the comic's core "mood" at best, and being entirely masturbatory at worst. In conclusion, I guess I'm just trying to say I have a lot to learn from Adventure Time and Gumball. Talk about simplistic yet incredibly effective designs.

according to Adventure Time, this is a horse. and I couldn't be happier with it.

nervousness

I openly admit I'm not really what one would call a "badass." No matter how accurate an impression of Tony Stark I can pull off, I just don't think I fit the bill. As a kid I was always the one that stuff happened to. Slipped on a tour of a fire truck and get the wind knocked out of me? Fall a bit weird off a swing set and get the wind knocked out of me? I've done it all, and gotten more wind knocked out of me than Aeolus after eating Chinese (probably literally ate Chinese people, those Greek gods were bananas, man).
The reason I bring this up is I'm now suffering from something I go through a lot; nervousness in shaky and probably excessive amounts. Right now I'm freaking out about driving to Florida. I mean, there's not much that can go wrong, really. Maybe I'll miss a turn somewhere and get immediately corrected by GPS. Maybe I'll get cut off and get angry because some guy could've hit me. Maybe I'll reach a gas station a bit later than I would've liked. Objectively, the road trip I'm about to take is a long session of sitting on my butt on a nice day. But that doesn't stop my brain from thinking about what might go wrong. It's an attitude that I guess keeps me alive, but sometimes it's just absurd.
I was nervous about going into my freshman year at Ringling, which as it turns out is a wonderland of nerdy artists, many of which are far more attractive than nerdy artists have any reasonable right to be. For some reason, total happiness FREAKS ME OUT beforehand; this happened to me before I played my first show with the band I was in during high school. Right before stepping on stage I kinda felt like I could throw up out of nerves, but seconds later when I actually walked on the stage, that began one of the most fun times I've ever had. I can't help but wonder if other people go through the same kind of thing, or if they just get excited without the unfortunate side-effect of nausea.
I guess this entry is kind of cathartic. Just trying to shake off the anxiety so I can sleep and not pass out at the wheel tomorrow. Would that be ironic, Alanis Morissette? Getting in a car crash due indirectly to fear of getting in a car crash? I dunno, but I'm sure I won't find out tomorrow or the next day. One thing I've found out about myself is that I'm extraordinarily lucky. My time ain't come yet, there's comics to be written.
See you guys later, I guess.