nervousness

I openly admit I'm not really what one would call a "badass." No matter how accurate an impression of Tony Stark I can pull off, I just don't think I fit the bill. As a kid I was always the one that stuff happened to. Slipped on a tour of a fire truck and get the wind knocked out of me? Fall a bit weird off a swing set and get the wind knocked out of me? I've done it all, and gotten more wind knocked out of me than Aeolus after eating Chinese (probably literally ate Chinese people, those Greek gods were bananas, man).
The reason I bring this up is I'm now suffering from something I go through a lot; nervousness in shaky and probably excessive amounts. Right now I'm freaking out about driving to Florida. I mean, there's not much that can go wrong, really. Maybe I'll miss a turn somewhere and get immediately corrected by GPS. Maybe I'll get cut off and get angry because some guy could've hit me. Maybe I'll reach a gas station a bit later than I would've liked. Objectively, the road trip I'm about to take is a long session of sitting on my butt on a nice day. But that doesn't stop my brain from thinking about what might go wrong. It's an attitude that I guess keeps me alive, but sometimes it's just absurd.
I was nervous about going into my freshman year at Ringling, which as it turns out is a wonderland of nerdy artists, many of which are far more attractive than nerdy artists have any reasonable right to be. For some reason, total happiness FREAKS ME OUT beforehand; this happened to me before I played my first show with the band I was in during high school. Right before stepping on stage I kinda felt like I could throw up out of nerves, but seconds later when I actually walked on the stage, that began one of the most fun times I've ever had. I can't help but wonder if other people go through the same kind of thing, or if they just get excited without the unfortunate side-effect of nausea.
I guess this entry is kind of cathartic. Just trying to shake off the anxiety so I can sleep and not pass out at the wheel tomorrow. Would that be ironic, Alanis Morissette? Getting in a car crash due indirectly to fear of getting in a car crash? I dunno, but I'm sure I won't find out tomorrow or the next day. One thing I've found out about myself is that I'm extraordinarily lucky. My time ain't come yet, there's comics to be written.
See you guys later, I guess.